My first flight was at the age of 11, when I flew with a Boeing 747 to Antalya, Turkey. By the age of 22, I’ve traveled to 16 countries (Bulgaria, Greece, Turkey, Tunisia, Egypt, Hungary, Slovenia, Croatia, Austria, Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Italy, France, Spain) and flew 17 times. But in 2012, during my trip to Tunisia, two events have happened: 1) I flew with a propeller-driven aircraft and experienced a very rough flight & 2) I got in a ride from an amusing park in Port El Kantaoui that scared me so bad, that something in me changed. I started feeling afraid of everything surrounding me and all the phobias that I had before, got one hundred times worse. So if at first I would have felt afraid of flying but fly anyway, after those experiences I gave up doing anything that would make me feel scared. And my major fear has been, for the past 2 years and a half, the fear of flying. Therefore, I only traveled by car outside the country during the past couple of years.
On November this year, Andu was supposed to take the plane to Frankfurt for picking our car in Bad Salzig, while in the meantime I would expect him at home. But his flight got cancelled because of Lufthansa’s strike and I interpreted that as a sign. I was not sure if the sign was indicating that A) Andu should cancel his trip to Germany or B) I should go with him, but after watching dozens of landings and take offs filmed in the cockpit, I decided to face my fear of flying and join Andu in his trip. So I escaped my comfort zone and later that day, I bought myself the next flight to Frankfurt, Germany. I felt sick the entire day, as I’ve never been this spontaneous in my entire life. It was a terrifying, yet exciting feeling – I can’t run away of my fears forever.
The moment I entered the aircraft, on Sunday noon (November 8th), I started crying. I looked so silly, but I had to let my feelings out. When the plane started moving, I felt like my blood circulation stopped. My feet were cold as ice. I closed my eyes and visioned another dimension. My legs were strong, my arms were steady and my mind was clear. I could not hear anything except the voice in my mind. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. You’re not gonna die. Not today. I stayed in Beta mode for about 20 minutes, then I opened my eyes. I was OK, but I was feeling extremely paranoid. What if there’s a terrorist on board? One man went two times to the restroom and stayed there really long. What’s up with him???; Are the flight attendants smiling because everything is OK or are they hiding something?; Oh God, we’re flying above mountains. What if we’ll crash like the German Wings flight??? My mind was so fucked up.
But hey, courage does not mean lack of fear. Courage is when you’re afraid of something and you face the fear. So I’m pretty proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone and doing an effort to live a more exciting and happier life. My spontaneous decision to travel to Germany and face my fear of flying was very rewarding; not only that I had experienced the most amazing road trip, but I also realized that the terrifying scenarios in my mind are mostly irrational.
I was wearing:
ZARA turtleneck blouse | ZARA jeans | CALVIN KLEIN ankle boots | STEFANEL socks | MICHAEL KORS jet set travel bag | STUDIO DALLO coat | BOBBI BROWN lipstick in shade brown 4